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How To's

June 10, 2008

How To Give a Kid Leopard Hair

Forest decided that he wanted leopard hair after we buzzed it short the other day. Some moms might think I'm nuts to agree to such an outlandish request, let alone be the hairdresser for this wild event. But in my opinion, there are way worse things a teenager could be interested in than crazy hair. Following is the step by step process I used to transform Forest's hair into leopard fur.

Forest

First,we shaved and bleached his hair. You can't paint spots on long hair. Forest has incredibly dark hair, like mine, so the bleach doesn't go platinum on the first round, but since we are doing leopard spots, it doesn't really need to go platinum. The lighter blonde you go, the more contrast the spots will have in the end, but that doesn't always look awesome. Sometimes slightly subtle is a better look. Also, adding spots has the magical effect of making the yellowness disappear.


Creating convincing leopard spots means that you better have something to look at while painting, unless you've done this five hundred times (as I have). To make Forest feel safe, I had a faux fur leopard blanket handy. But I didn't look at it.  You also need two shades of hair color: A nice dark brown or red-brown, and a copper penny red. Basically, I just look at the hair swatches at the beauty supply and choose two that will look nice together. I've done this hair-do so many times, never using the same colors twice, and it always comes out awesome.

Darkspots1

I started at the sideburns and made the spots as small as I could using a little craft paintbrush. I used a round brush that I cut really short. I made spots by painting three or four blobs arranged in a rosette pattern, with a hole  more or less in the center. I used the brown color first, and tried to keep the spots looking natural and random, but not too random.

Darkspotsdone

Next I mixed the red color and filled in the center of the dark spots.

Redspots


Almost done!


Reddone 

And here is the leopard boy, freshly rinsed:

Leopardkid

 

February 07, 2008

How to Develop a Hateful Relationship with Doming Resin.

First, let me say this to you bluntly: Doming resin sucks major ass. Maybe it doesn't really suck, and it's just me who sucks, altogether possible given the fact that lots of people use this evil product with delightful results. Maybe I am impatient. Maybe today would be a good day to whip out that HORMONAL pendant I keep talking about.

I'm not sure exactly who or what is to blame, all I know is another batch of pendants has gone belly up again
today. I would like you all to know that I am not dense. I followed the instructions EXACTLY, and tried everything the tech guy at Rio Grande suggested I do. Magically, a few of my pendants came out okay. Poignantly, fuck was the master survivor.

Here is a picture of my disaster, cue the famous Hawaiian song Tiny Bubbles:
Disasters

The heroic survivors:
Survivors

Feel my pain, weep with me. Throw things at the wall in my honor. Breakable things.Things that will splinter into a million gratifying shards. I am in misery. Misery does love company, I  never knew it until just now. I suppose if you are feeling malicious you could even laugh at me, that might actually help, because then I could throw darts at a picture of your face and that would be really therapeutic. Or, run for your life, cause I am in no mood to be messed with. I think I could slay Ninjas with my eyes closed right now. Especially Ninjas with perfect doming resin pendants, all bubble-free and shiny. I hate those Ninjas.

On a bright note, the Queen of Doming Resin is going to call me tomorrow and set me straight. As far as I can tell, she's got a major mystery to solve, because there is NO REASON some of these worked and some of these didn't. I popped all the miniscule bubbles the same. Every damn one of them. Popped. Millions of them. And then lookit. They multiplied like amoebas in under two minutes. Whatever, Doming Resin. I hate you.

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